Monday, April 30, 2012

This week's question

A concerned CRETIN writes:

Dear Bigal,
with your ghostly pale skin, bald pate, and squinty eyes, you look like something explorers discovered living in a haunted swamp. Do you ever go on a rampage through your town and destroy property and kill random innocent people? Or are you just a stupid, hypocritical jerkoff who thinks he knows everything and has a holier-than-though attitude?
John Tate

Dear Manchy,
Thanks for writing, glad to see you here. Not really. I do not live in a haunted swamp and I don't know why you would think that. My holier than thou attitude, as you call it, comes from a lifetime of insecurity and poor eating habits. I also had many years to think things over whilst in prison and have dedicated my life to fighting SCAMMERS and CRETINS who have no honour and publish the pictures of innocent people. I would never stoop to their level and put someone's picture online against their wishes. NEVER!!!!!

Dear BIg AL,
Why do you have a sandy vagina? Do you like broccolini?

Dear Bert,
My vagina is sandy and I don't know why. I should see my doctor and find out.

I don't eat broccolini. It sounds disgusting and like something you shove up your ass. My prostate is the size of a grapefruit so I don't think it would fit comfortably.